MIA i became. Not because writing became boring but i needed time out from almost everything. I was drowning slowly, focus shifting and the pace at which my thinking and activities was wheeling was neither pleasing my inner nor outer self. Reading was paused as my eyes can no longer navigate through those e-pub books and the nerd look might be coming sooner than expected. However, my time has been washed away seeing all those latest animations and comedy movies that make me realize how i haven’t laughed in months!!
My body aching for that screening just to detect if anything is wrong as that boob lump that was once told to be benign constantly reminds me that it exists through its sharp freaking pain. Thinking of that surgery is wassup. That does not end there as the “protein in your kidney” issue has not disappeared yet. “You so young to have kidney issues,” were the words one doc once told me when my right leg started swelling around the ankle. Kidney malfunction, i do not know. Generally, i am tired and the more i think of things the more it weighs me down.
I have been investigating my life and reality is as years go by, i realize i no longer prefer certain things that i thought i liked. Maybe am in a discovery phase! Whatever this phase is, that has taken a bit of toil from me, should in the end guide me to some positivitea
, i suppose? To that effect i moved to somewhere in the middle of tea plantations, different culture, never been here plus cold nights just for a month of no disturbance to rekindle myself.
I know i rarely open up about my private life but with time i will since some people think am a lucky gem. This gem has had her fair share of highs and lows that even my closest friends do not know of (maybe a book will do who knows). Experiences that when i look back make me feel am a survivor or just lucky. Am talkative but that hasn’t been me since months now. The outgoing, bubbly me will be back, she will continue writing this blog because shutting it will hurt her more and y’all i haven’t got time to catch up with, don’t stress i will spare time when my right mood is rejuvenated.
There are times I look at society, how people treat each other and how they extend that to the knowns and unknowns. However, there are the chosen evil who never want any peace prevailing and it is at that moment I wish I had some form of superpowers. Not to be the batman, spiderman kind of hero but to teach a lesson to them for the betterment of their lives. From that, the power can easily leave them as they change. Do you ever wish for superpowers?
Lately I have realised am becoming too emotional. I don’t know where that came from since yours truly is one hardcore bitch! Whenever am watching a movie/series and there is that cry, hurt moment I always have this balancing tears leave alone reading a book or listening to some shenanigans.
Funny enough I find myself craving for ice cream or chocolates😂😂 things I detest. For starters, I hate sugar. Secondly, I like my chocolate in cakes or hot cocoa drink. Plus this thing has its way of fuelling one’s crimson wave during the month like some hurricane. As for ice cream, if there is one part I love in my body apart from my tummy are my teeth. I can’t stand the icy sensitivity on my black filled molars. Then that mucho feeling with bae ever happens then we shall scoop each others cream and spoil ourselves silly. Talking of spoiling, the other thing I intend to use ice cream for is leg over.
Maybe your lady is maturing to a human where feelings need to be felt but damn I got to put my shit together. Back then nothing stood in my way, staying put and been in the mandem was me. More so, I used to laugh at the emotional wondering why they could never put their act hand in hand. Look at me having a dose of my own medicine and been all miss mouse so meek and mild.
Some will say it’s a phase, to others I needed to fit in their shoes and the rest will claim am in a situation ship with a guy. Am I? (Psss…Eva are you falling in love?) Back to my animations, comedy, action and lil drama to juice my life. Ooh not forgetting my CNN and hip hop music. Those am sure never made me get teary.
I’ve been thinking that at the time we have to be single, is really the time we have to get good at been alone but how good at been alone do we really want to be? Isn’t there a danger that you will get so good at been single, so set in your ways that you will miss out on the chance to be with somebody great? Some people take baby steps to settle down, some people refuse to settle at all. Sometimes it’s not statistics it’s just chemistry and sometimes just because it’s over doesn’t mean the love ends. The thing about been single is you should cherish it because in a week or a lifetime of been alone you may only get one moment. One moment when you are not tied up in a relationship with anyone; a parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment when you stand on your own, really truly single. And then, it’s gone!