Posted in health, Lifestyle

Potato Girl

Potato…that crop sprouting underneath the soil with all colors, shapes and even tastes. In my country, you find the Kikuyu culture that is famous for its backlash “mashakura1”. We famous for putting warus2 in almost everything we cook. That is why in primary school during lunch rice days I garnered my fame. Not even English fame nor topping class type of celebrity but all for a plate full of potatoes! Laugh, I know you want to but hell yea ‘potato girl’ was my name then.

The long awaited 12:40pm bell would catch me up running to queue and in my school which was an academy, plates, cups and spoons were well catered for. There was the scrabbling line where we would all do the survival for the fittest hustle to get plates and spoons stuffed in a sufuria3. What followed were smiley faces to the cooks who served us. It all started with “auntie, niwekee waru mingi4” vibe then the vibe turned to vibes and before I knew it they would be the ones asking me if I wanted potatoes. Anytime Mr. Patrick, my class teacher was on duty, he would see me on queue and alert the cooks that potato girl was here.

Unluckily, no amount of potatoes made me bigger. When everyone around me was sprouting boobs and ass, I barely needed a training bra. I remember my aunts walking up to me and pinching my nipples as a joke. Folks never shielded away from telling me how skinny I was, as if it was brand new information they just had to let me in on and it made me look like a black daddy long-legs spider with buckteeth. Flash forward to high school, I still ate my potatoes although here they were countable so you can bet I never had my desired feel. Then as potato fate would have it, I was appointed the Deputy Head girl and my meals were in the kitchen and not dining hall! So there I ate potatoes, meat and bread. You would have thought my parents sent me to school to eat rather than study.

I’ve always been skinny somehow (because lately they say I got ass and hips) but never weighed more than 47kgs and even that was probably with a bit of water retention. I always celebrate not wearing a belt. Fyuks! I’ve been the same size since high school, I could still fit into my old clothes. My metabolism is faster than Hellen Obiri with the wind at her back, and no matter what I eat, I do not gain weight. I mean it. These are struggles for real and I know am ‘thin’ as some of you call it. You ain’t gotta declare it like some PSA.

PS: I rarely eat potatoes. I think I got bored and at some time hate them AF.


1-Bad cooked food more so a mixture of everything


3-Large cooking pot

4-Aunt kindly serve me lots of potatoes