Posted in book review, My library

Blackass


” No human being has ever directly seen their own face. It’s impossible within nature -the most you can do is glimpse your nose and, for those with full lips, the curve of your upper lip. And so we only see ourselves through external forces, whether as images in mirrors, pixels on the screen, or words on the page, words of love from a mother, words of hate from an ex-lover.”

My year and yearly challenge ends on a high note of laughter and unimaginable things that can come your way in one span of a lifetime. Imagine you are a black man eager for an interview in the morning only on the D-day to wake up as a transformed white man. As if that is not the meanest wrath of whichever juju has been spelled on you, it decides to discolor everything by leaving your ass black! Hold your horses first and let’s laugh to that…hahahaha.

Well, Furo Wariboko is the main character in this text who woke up to the shock of his life. This new self-had its own luck and fate inculcated into one. For one he was a Nigerian man O but his change did not take away that and bless him with some American or British accent. Abeg. Obiyo oga  dey talk naija, deh eat jorrof rice and pepper soup, dey know naija swagger eeeeh chineke meh…tufiakwa to this wahalla (don’t mind my craziness practicing my naija movies in here). Back to Furo…he decided to run away from home.

His other white side made him a building block to companies that wanted to hire him as they thought he was a foreigner who would scale their businesses to greater heights in the western nations. Women ooh women. The run girls were head over heels to service him for a larger pay and even taxi driver’s hiked fare when he wanted to maneuver. In this quest he found Syreeta who like any other lady wanted a “sponsor” and by providing him shelter, food and company she tied him down by falling pregnant. This is so today where foreigners are treated special and on the money tag everything goes higher.

Tekena, Furo’s sister takes a reader through the millennial generation obsessed by social media. On the verge to find her brother, she uses twitter to garner followers, trade jokes and the hashtags plus tweets used are ones to die hard for. I could totally relate with this character. In the gist to finding Furo one Igoni (not the author but fictional character) who was a writer too and had earlier bumped to Furo as he asked for his help craved for a story and he found it in Furo’s disappearance. It is here that he came across an advertisement and upon recalling white Furo he knew outright something was suspicious and so he befriended his sister.

Another transformation occurs when Igoni changes into a woman but his manhood doesn’t disappear. Frank Whyte became Furo’s new name and Morpheus became Igoni’s and it is upon bumping into each other that Frank gets astonished that everyone is transforming. He ends up at her doorstep and after caressing he realizes her mishap. To Furo’s surprise his parents come to Morpheus house and after they knock the novel ends there. Arrrhgghhhh!!! What a suspense and you have to agree with me that Barrett needs to write part 2, he just can’t leave me hanging like that!

The not understandable part is that the facts are not put together. How Igoni transformed to Morpheus is not known.

My favorite tweets are here:

12:51 | For all you tweeps who RTed my #COCK tweet, I meant CHICKEN! The aboki keeps a big fat chicken as a pet. #gotcha #LWKMD

22:19 | Some people on Twitter are stupid sha. They think they can just say anything. But that’s easy to fix. @RudebwoyDeji, you’re BLOCKED.

09:54 | 4 all the #hypocrites who attacked me, I now have 1856 followers! Eat your hearts out!

@Nu9jaYoots Who dash you #YOOT Leader? You can’t even bloody spell! #mschew

RT ‘@lazyeyedben: @pweetychic_tk  Who is Furo?’ YOU don’t know? And to think you were my Twitter crush! You’re dumped! *stomps away*

13:33 | When I die I want to be cremated! On the same day! twitpic.com/ZvY80pQ #mortuary

11:42 | I love Twirrer.

11:42 | Facebook is sooo yesterday.

23:17 | OMG!!!!!! @DONJAZZY retweeted  me!!!

09:59 | TWITTER FIGHT ALERT!!!

11:50 | My fingers hurt from all the RTing, but this has got to be the best fight ever! And a BIG hello to all my new followers!!! #HornPride

21:37 | Mum needs to chillax! I can’t go out again because Furo got lost???

23:46 | *staggers across bedroom* *flops on bed* *hugs teddy bear* #happy #goodnight

 

 

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Living my life, exploring it, yearning more of it and learning from it.

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