Posted in #life, communication, counselling, friendship, love, personalgrowth, psychology, writing

Apology Accepted


Hi. How are you doing? Of course you doing fine or pretending to be since the last time we bothered to look up to our phone contacts and dial or hit each other with a text (If at all we still have our numbers saved in them). Moving on seems to be the bolder picture here and even though flash backs come and go, one thing is for sure, I still got this last thing to do.

Remember them days when we would call for hours, talk, laugh and even attract our families to it? Remember when neither of us wanted to hang up first and instead waited for the airtime to be up? Remember when we comforted each other in stressful moments and at the end of a rough day our bubbly phone calls made us forget it all? Remember our first date when the sun melted our love to the extent my ice cream melted and a hawker came to the rescue with a nylon paper to hold it with? Remember our hangout at a garden park going through my picture album? Remember those tender kisses that caught me unaware when biding me goodbye in front of touts? Remember that moment when I spilled coffee on our second date? Remember our break ups to make up that made us grow stronger? Remember that and much more?

Actually kudos for all that because no douche-bag has been able to do that since you left. As a matter of fact I kept it 100 that you knew me in and out while these chasers be knowing nothing. I also knew you, we had our dreams together and everyone thought we were a perfect match. However, the long distance was killing us and maybe in it you found someone to be my substitute. Our communication was dwindling day by night and like any lady would do I did the unexpected. That voice message said it all. Either you freaked out why I said so or what I had in mind was true that you decided to give me the silent treatment.

Then you came back, tried to win me all over again but instead we were sinking. I tried to believe you, I tried to buy in to all the lovey dovey. Then you dropped the bombshell that exploded and split my heart into unrepairable pieces. Was she a rebound or someone you had been cheating on me all along? For you to be the baby daddy that was unforgivable. Lust was the only excuse you came up with and with the many protection methods around, I thought you knew better. I thought I deserved better rather than untaming your hungry manhood. My guts told me to approach the “bitch” and when you said she loved you, I kept calm so that she could have all of you and maybe you would have a happy ending. In short I was sacrificing not fighting.

For a year or so I knew the meaning of crying, hate, rage and resentment that jam-packed my heart. Like a bold lady I acted all cool but deep within me was a crumbled person who tried so hard to rise again. You kept knocking, make amends but I was too tired for another hearty game and decided to let fate decide. No excuses, no apologies. I moved on, tried to pretend that you never existed and had never met in the first place but all that never worked as we bumped into each other on social media. Neither the tags, likes nor comments did the talking and why I haven’t blocked you though I have always wanted to, only my thoughts know best.

I can tell you doing alright, happy for that and did what I told you to “take care of that child”. God has been slowing picking up the pieces and mending them to where they were before we met, learning to let it all go even though at times it hits me hard, learning to forgive because at times it is not a walk in the park and learning to give love a second try. You heard me right.

In case our paths cross in the future just have the courtesy to say hi and maybe we shall laugh it all since that apology was long accepted before I even knew it.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/apology/

 

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Living my life, exploring it, yearning more of it and learning from it.

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