Posted in counselling, family, parenting

Who is to blame?


Holy Molly! So it’s true? What? They be aiding their daughters in abortions. Who? Parents!

When a parent is known by an entire village there is always a sweet feeling attached to it-fame maybe but once a catastrophe hits that family when their own flesh and blood embarrasses them, then wheels take different directions.

Woe unto you if you think that jumping from one bed to another doesn’t bring its evidence more so when you carelessly jump into it. Mind you, the whole village has been anticipating for your wedding day, the day that calendars shall be marked, villagers shall for once buy new attires and after the D-day news of your wedding shall still be topping the headlines.

Let’s get real. Putting the cookie in the cookie jar till marriage in this century rarely happens…or does it? They say they need to test drive first before deciding to stay with it. Parents of this generations need to psychologically read their kids because you cannot keep a tracking device to know their every move. Yes, they are sexually active and if they wrap it, then they responsible but this should not just end there. Have the sex talk. I know you never know where to start but maybe you can start by asking “do you have a girl/boyfriend?” Then the rest can follow.

Statistics show that teenage pregnancy has been on the rise each and every year worldwide. According to WHO ….

About 16 million women 15–19 years old give birth each year, about 11% of all births worldwide.

Ninety-five per cent of these births occur in low- and middle-income countries. The average adolescent birth rate in middle-income countries is more than twice as high as that in high-income countries, with the rate in low-income countries being five times as high.

The proportion of births that take place during adolescence is about 2% in China, 18% in Latin America and the Caribbean and more than 50% in sub-Saharan Africa

Poverty, poor upbringings, insecurity in cases of rape, lack of education can be associated with teen pregnancies but this is not how i argue it. Take for instance those teens who have education at their finger tips, those who never lack anything but become prey to this trend. Then, can we conclude that teen pregnancy is on alert due to cultural practices, poverty or idleness? It’s a 50/50 likelihood from whichever angle you look at it. However, something somewhere is fishy.

Well, this daughter of yours has been going out to “visiting” on holidays, you even know she drinks and God forbid if she takes drugs too. On the other hand, she might be the naive daughter which is not bad though if given time but easily falls into men’s temptations. To avoid this dilemma of shame and icing features for the wrong reasons, this is where now parents fail especially mothers because I believe a father’s reaction would be to beat the stupidity out of you, chase you away to get the man responsible or reject you and want nothing to do with you.

Rumor has that when taking them back to school you shadily arrange for an appointment with a doctor with the excuse of “checkup” and injections are administered. She believes it’s an injection to protect her from diseases out there but in real sense family planning dosage is what she gets. If you cannot handle this malpractice you wait till she comes crying she has a muffin in the oven and then plan for her abortion. Are you aware she could die? Of course you know but cannot handle the jeers from society.

If counseling and all real talks have been kicked to her senses but refuses to hear, let her be. Let her give birth, let her learn that choices comes with responsibilities, let her know that the world is fair but we make it unfair, let her know that sex is not everything, let her learn the man loses nothing but her life comes to a halt first, let her learn that she can pick it from there and still make it and lastly let her know she still is your daughter and still is beautiful.And my favorite quote would be:

teenquote
quotesgram.com

This mumble jumble of family planning can be decided by her when she is of legal age but not making decisions on her behalf on reproductive health. Instead of been the pride of society all for fame, first become the pride of your family.  Who is to blame and what is the right prevention?

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Living my life, exploring it, yearning more of it and learning from it.

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