What defines your family reunion? What makes it merrier? What initiated its success or failure? Are you familiar with your ancestors? Are you aware of the customs followed?
That weekend was definitely the bomb! It blew me up and took me to places I had not been for a long time. The inner me was re-energized, satisfied (by food) not even the fog and rain that made me feel like I was in the United States literally could cool things down. The neighbors must have envied us as laughter dominated my uncle’s homestead as my uncles and aunts jeered each other with their childhood stories. My old (but not so old) granny quietly corrected them if stories did not match. The joy of having 13 children….grandpa I know you laughed too as you watched your family up there in heaven.
Lunch was served and after plates had been cleared the official meeting began. In my family we just don’t meet to eat, drink and make merry. No; but agendas are usually stipulated down where matters arising are discussed. This way it keeps our bond together and sets date for the next reunion. That was my mother’s family and that was my family reunion.
The culture of family get together as commonly known has been fading. People can neither tell who their cousins are nor identify their clan. In fact it even gets worse when people fall in love only to come to terms that they are related. Moreover, the traditions followed are barely known and that is why majority continue to make errors. Workmates, high school, friends’ reunions are organized in a jiffy but family matters can be on hold. Where did we go wrong?
According to my survey I have frequently asked people why they never hold family things. The reply is more of “everyone for themselves and God for us all.” Selfishness has taken over families that sharing is not advocated. We would rather see another family suffer and take pride in that.
Then there are the urban families. Those who have spent most of their lives in the big cities and when they meet with the rural chaps it is more of “I do not know you, do not want to bond with you” affair. Then it becomes more of a show off event where who has the latest gadget, who lives in the posh areas, latest fashion blah blah blah. Thus intimidating others.
The diaspora are those who left to whichever country and have never reconnected with their roots. Then they come around with the fake ascents, their mother tongue is long forgotten or they pretend so. Since they have tasted the soil of other countries, they brag all about it, in fact they only on a three day or week holiday visit, will not take the initiative to spend the night and familiarize themselves with their families; before you know it they left and you will hear or see them in the next 10 or so years.
Superman and spider man were the heroes in the movies till flash and arrow came along. Well, forget the movies and look at human beings. There are those that have the generosity to help but not out of their hearts but for the whole society to know indeed they did help. Saviors as commonly known would rather make a family gathering be their center stage where they want to receive all the praise and honor for their generous contributions in the family.
Story telling is fun but spreading venom to create war has been dividing families. Rumor mongers as I will call them are those who sit in a corner, gaze their eyes in several corners as if on a man hunt, laugh loudly and hate on certain individuals. This is more of jealousy on another level. If you want a biography written these are the nerds to approach since they know more of your life than you do.
Mother Nature has conformed people to certain behaviors and characters. There are the shy folks who keep it to themselves, quiet throughout, interaction is not in them and at times you wonder what became of them. We do not blame you, it is alright to keep calm but everyone else wants to know how you talk, smile and laugh. They want to be your friend. Speak out loud, in family gatherings it is more of talking no one will judge you.
Be grateful if all of the above make an effort to come since there are the don’t cares. No matter how many gatherings will be there, they shall never appear. Business, work, travel being the excuse as if the rest were so idle to show up. If each member would come up with the same, no reunion would prosper. Ahem, just spare ten minutes for family then rush to attend personal matters.
Now all that is what made certain family gatherings come to an end. Hope it is not happening within you and if it is, try to prevent it by all means possible.
Cultivate love, peace, unity, honesty, kindness, patience in thy families. Love is the greatest since without it believe me they will always flop. The holidays are here, text, call, email your loved ones and revive your family reunions. For those who have their gatherings keep up the spirit and watch out for the above elements not to corrupt them.
PS: This was to be published like hours ago, Monday morning but my slow internet connections messed me big time. (Retiring to bed with a spinning head)