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The Forbidden Lot


The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) talks have more often been ignored and at times it is more of a taboo to even discuss it. That subject however has been crisscrossing my mind and am yet to comprehend the whole scenario. In the United States the gay practice is legally recognized but come to Mama Africa it has been jeered, the victims sent packing elsewhere, all negative comments rent the air. In a continent trying to be independent and free from its colonizers, where the norms, values have stuck since time in memorial this shall take longer than expected for embracing them.

They live amongst us and it has taken a toil for them to come out of the closet. My loud applause goes out to you as you try to pass that message that indeed same sex relationship should be recognized, that if my gender is not perfect switching is easy. Do not get it twisted though since am yet to do my analysis and come to a conclusion of whether or not to support this absurd behavior as critics call it. Could this be the end of days as foretold???

Thou shall not judge and the Bible shall not be referred to here since am also in the transition of understanding it; I should probably hire a Reverend to expound more on that. Recently after my girlfriends nights out turned to tantrums due to the cute dudes they were bumping into, who apparently would say they were gay and even introduce their partner, then I decided this is it! The 21st century surely has a lot to be said about and am yet to see how the next centuries will be if the Almighty grants me those many more years.

So what changed? What was exciting about it? Clearly you are not retarded. Homosexuality is my debate today.

Peer pressure has and will always be the killer to most of us. Not wanting to be a duff, black sheep we ride along and curiosity turns into addiction that cannot be curbed unless you take the first initiative. It all starts with experimenting, after qualifying you take a score higher and before we realize it you into same sex relationship or the waves can allow you to have both.

Mother Nature has always proved that life is never fair. The environment one brought up in really determines our character and behavior. Am assuming in such a case, the hood you grew up influenced you into the act. Like the black community where drugs are exchanged as I see in the movies, a radicalization process took place where you were introduced to the kings and queens.

Parents I think you also played a part in his or her transformation. When raising up that child did it act like a girl, always shy, not joining others to play, wanted dolls for toys yet it was a boy? Or did it put baggy boy like clothes, did boy related things yet it was a girl? Did you socialize it to its right gender or left it to the earth’s wrath to do it? If this behavior was corrected when the kid was in its early stages then all will be well and you would not be in the fore-front to disown your own blood.

Molestation, bullying and abuses while in the tender ages have stirred a debate as a cause to this awkwardness. This affects greatly the psychological well-being of individuals making them a lesser being forcing them not appreciate who they are and shift focus to other activities. An aunt, uncle, cousin, sibling was sexually active and decided to pounce on you severally. Not familiar with what was going on, it triggered avenues that were never thought of making you the person you are today.

Sexual disorders is my broader thought. First, Gender identity disorders brought forth by disturbances in gender identity. Categorized into transsexualism as sense of discomfort regarding one’s anatomic sex; dual role transvestism where it involves wearing clothes of opposite sex to enjoy temporarily experience of membership of opposite sex; intersexuality been the physical aspects to other sex; and gender identity disorder of childhood over 2-4 years.

Secondly, paraphilia due to sexual arousal occurring in response to object. Categorized into, fetishism non-living object; fetishistic transvestism where wearing clothes of opposite sex brings sexual arousal; sexual sadism occurs by psychological humiliation, suffering of sexual partner mostly affects males; sexual masochism where person is sexually aroused by experiencing psychological humiliation mostly affects females; pedophilia common in incest as adult age more than 16years older than a minor is involved in sexual activity; voyeurism affects mostly males where sexual arousal occurs by observing unsuspecting persons of opposite sex naked or engaged in sexual activities; and exhibitionism been the exposure of one’s genitalia to an unsuspecting gender causing sexual arousal.

Lastly sexual dysfunction caused by difficulty experience by an individual during any stage of a normal sexual activity including desire, orgasm, arousal. Can be sexual pain disorders, sexual excitement disorders, decreased libido, orgasm disorders and impotence.

Thoroughly looked into them keenly, one way or the other they contribute to the rising number of homosexuals, bisexuals and transgender within us. Behavior therapy and psychotherapy been the only treatments I know of to adjusting into right behavior.

Laws and policies in the developed nations that embrace homosexuality allow the individuals to adopt, donate blood, be a parent, anti-discrimination rules, laws against hate crimes, immigration equality thereby advocating for same treatment as other people therefore embracing each other.

Enough said, before we yap all insults to those with abnormal behavior that does not fit into our so called perfect behavior, let us take time and find out what made them venture into it and develop channels to help them if at all one is willing to. If they want to continue been who they are, respect them. It is not up to us to judge.

As different stakeholders in my country continue to debate on whether to legalize homosexuality practice or not, my question still remains:

Why, who, what made you change?

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Living my life, exploring it, yearning more of it and learning from it.

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